Most Annoying Birthday Card

I saw the most annoying birthday card the other day.

• Inside message: In fact, I bought it, and this is it. Happy Birthday!
• Custom Green BGG Envelope
• Recycled Paper
• 5 x 7 inches
• Made in the USA

This card actually is annoying! It opens the wrong way, the text is on the opposite side from what you'd expect, and the type is a zigzagging mess of mixed up fonts.